Infernal ‘Sunshine’ is For the Forgetful Mind: Danny Boyle helms a shipload of clichés with ‘Sunshine’

When I heard Danny Boyle was directing a science fiction space movie I was stoked. It just seemed to be a perfect fit. Boyle has demonstrated his expertise directing the breakdown of human social order with such films as Transpotting, The Beach and the masterpiece 28 Days Later. I assumed the final frontier would be the perfect environment for humanity to show its underbelly. What I never predicted was that Sunshine would be a terribly disappointing movie, but alas it is. It is especially troublesome because you can tell there is great talent behind every frame of this film. From the seemingly interesting characters and thrilling premise to the stunning visual effects, it’s amazing how far from the mark this movie ventured. But instead of playing towards the films strengths, Boyle and Co. went after every overused space motif they could find and cut and paste the film together like a last minute plagiarized term paper. There is a phenomenal sci-fi classic in there somewhere, but as is this film is an utter catastrophe.

So many moments in Sunshine are blatantly regurgitated from other sci-fi films, it’s as though Boyle hoped you’ve never seen any before. I recognized scenes from Supernova, Armageddon, Deep Impact, The Abyss, Mission to Mars, Alien, Aliens, 2001, Sphere, Event Horizon, and even Nightmare on Elm Street. I suppose you could make an argument that Boyle is paying homage to countless sci-fi films, but I don’t think that’s true when these scenes stand in as plot points instead of throw away winks and nods. Boyle is a visionary filmmaker and there are several elements in Sunshine I loved. But I can’t let this movie slide knowing its director reinvented the Zombie genre with one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. Mr. Boyle can do better.

The film started off on the right foot as we become acquainted with the crew of Icarus II, a spaceship on a mission to deliver a ‘payload’ of nuclear bombs that will shoot into the sun and hopefully reignite its dwindling blaze. The sun is dying and these astronauts may be our last remaining hope before Earth is just another frozen wasteland. I loved this concept and became even more excited when I found out that the first Icarus ship disappeared without any warning. Then we meet Searle (Cliff Curtis), Mace (Chris Evans), Capa (Cillian Murphy), Coranzon (Michelle Yeoh), and Cassie (Rose Byrne) the main crew members of Icarus II who add somewhat believable astronaut chemistry to the film. It’s a little hard to buy that 26 year old Chris Evans would be an experienced enough astronaut to hold the fate of the world in his hands, but who am I to claim to know the inner workings of NASA. Regardless of the young ages of certain members of the crew, Boyle had so many great ingredients to work with and I’m convinced he has it in him to make a great film about this subject. But before long we have special effects for effects sake and the mission becomes a hokey rehash of those movies I listed earlier.

The Icarus II mission was going along fine until the crew discovers the whereabouts of the lost Icarus I and has to make a decision of whether to leave it or attempt a rescue. The decision lies in the hands of Capa who decides that it will be worth rescuing the first mission so they have an extra payload in case theirs fails. Mace finds this plan very frustrating because the crew has to alter their present course, putting the mission to save Earth in jeopardy. These humanity risking decisions lie in the hands of the crew members because they conveniently are out of range of contacting Earth. You would think a decision with this amount of magnitude would have to lie in the hands of a president or at least a presidential advisor that would be here for situations like this. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

When they embark on the mission to save Icarus I we begin to set into the cliché zone. The ship itself is interesting enough, if not totally original. It looks like a giant contact lens covered in tinfoil with a long ship sticking out from where you put your eye. Its convex surface reflects the sunlight keeping the ship from sizzling in the sunrays. The crew does encounter problems on their new mission and the reflective surface needs repairing. These scenes are similar to the comet bomb drilling scenes from Deep Impact where they must race against the sun before they burn to a crisp. Icarus II also has a Hal like computer the crew uses to communicate with the ship. The films overall look is a cross between Alien and Event Horizon, consisting of mostly space station meeting rooms, command centers, and lonely hallways with abysmal lighting. When the crew explores the interior of Icarus I, I was immediately reminded of the scenes from The Abyss where the interiors of a crashed submarine are explored by flashlight. I was expecting crabs to scuttle from the ship’s grimy corners. But what’s worse and more unforgivable than Sunshine’s repetitive feel, is that it’s not thrilling or scary and it is at many times boring. A lot of the writing is pedestrian at best as we listen to the astronauts argue about payloads, sunlight and the slipping oxygen supply. SPOILER: After the mission of exploring Icarus I is accomplished, the crew re-boards their original ship to find that an evil member of Icarus I is alive and he begins to sabotage the new mission. If that wasn’t silly enough, this guy is so badly burnt his face bears a similar resemblance to Freddy Krueger. This guy is so remarkable he is simultaneously as fragile as an octogenarian yet as durable and powerful as the Terminator. And if any one remembers Supernova (all three of you who saw it) I don’t think I even have to point out its similarities to Sunshine’s ending.

Maybe I’m too hard on sci-fi movies. Most of the time, they are either great or terrible. The great ones are able to show us something we’ve never envisioned before like The Matrix or Minority Report. The good ones are at least entertaining. Sunshine accomplishes neither. But like I said earlier, there are things I loved about this movie. Mace was an interesting and complex character. I thought I had him pegged as the selfish macho dude, but really he was a dedicated selfless professional. Nice surprise there. I also liked Coranzon as the greenhouse keeper who adds a pragmatic and naturalist viewpoint to the crew. I even admired Boyle’s emerging theme of human’s self destructive desires and obsession. And Boyle’s style is visually interesting with his use of out of focus shots and one second frames of Icarus I victims. But this hodgepodge of talent and cliché is so irritating, I can only express my deepest disappointment. Let’s hope this crash landing was just a fluke.

C-

Homer’s Odyssey: Although no classic The Simpsons Movie is a hilarious adventure

The Simpsons Movie begins with Homer asking, “why anyone would pay to see what we did on TV for free?” Not only is this the most intelligent question I’ve ever heard uttered from Homer’s doughnut chomping mouth, but he also presents a very puzzling conundrum. Simpsons reruns do air on TV nearly every afternoon and if you’re like me you unintentionally stop channel surfing as soon as you see those fluffy clouds floating over Springfield. The reasons I paid to see it are that I love movies and I find the Simpsons cartoon very funny. Should the average moviegoer see it? I would say yes, considering the shows successful television run of 18 seasons and counting. With that type of popularity at least 3 out of every 4 American’s are already Simpsons fans. And if you are a fan, I’m sure you will appreciate the movie’s crude social and political hilarity that’s a little naughtier than TV would allow. However, after all the hype and years of anticipation, the Simpsons Movie isn’t the most stupendous film you’ll see this summer, but it’s still a pretty good one.

If you take away the cinematic visuals and the PG-13 humor, the Simpsons Movie is essentially a 90-minute Simpsons episode. This is a good thing because it means that it is very witty, satirical and humorous. It meanders as aimlessly as the TV show and of course finds its plot along the way. All the essential characters are present including Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. We also have cameo appearances by all the other characters like Krusty the Clown, the Comic Book Guy, Moe, Mr. Burns and even that Bumblebee Man. All of those lovable characters are accounted for and it’s nice that they all have their moment. Once the animation style changed during the first 2 seasons these characters have remain unaltered and that’s what makes them so inherently comical. By all accounts, one would think the characters either have an endless supply of the same outfit or they have just worn the same clothes for 18 years. And shouldn’t Maggie be spitting out that pacifier and heading off to college this year?

After a few hysterical jokes made at the expense of the Fox network and an amazingly funny skateboard sequence inspired by Austin Powers, we see the beginnings of what will be the plot. Apparently Springfield has one of the most polluted lakes in the country and something must be done to clean it. But the citizens of the town are so apathetic regarding this filthy lake they don’t even bother to listen to Lisa as she attempts to raise awareness of the lakes doomed condition. It is so dirty in fact, it arouses the concern of president Arnold Schwarzenegger. The lake is on the brink of a tipping point and once Homer decides to ignore the new lake polluting restrictions the Schwarzenegger administration seals the town in a giant glass dome. Now Homer is Springfield’s most wanted criminal not to mention that he has finally managed to lose the respect of his family, but surely he can win back his loved ones and save the day.

The Simpsons Movie reminded me of seeing Aladdin in the theater. There was so much happening and it moved so quick that at the end it is mostly a blur. A few of the comedic highlights stick in my mind, but like the show it’s nearly impossible to determine where it all started from. I wish I made a trail of breadcrumbs. I’m sure upon second viewing my appreciation for this film will grow, but I can’t help but feel a hint of disappointment. I can remember hearing rumors of a Simpsons movie when I was in high school. How can you help expecting it to be amazing? It’s always unfair to have extremely high expectations for movies, but after 18 years the blown away sensation never came. Then again, when you add the extra cartoon taboos and CGI 2-D imagery to the animated sitcom that’s arguably the best TV show of the past century, the Simpsons Movie is an uproarious laugh riot from start to finish.

B

Baltimore Boogie: The musical version of Hairspray is bound to give you Happy Feet

I’ve unknowingly had a craving for the musical film version of Hairspray since the end of the Golden Age of the animated Disney musicals. Apparently there has been a large void in my heart left since Mulan came out. I can just imagine the late Howard Ashman (the musical muse behind The Little Mermaid & Beauty and the Beast) looking down from heaven at this film with a smile on his face. It is based of the Tony award winning Broadway play, which was based on John Water’s 1988 cult classic (the same evolution The Producers experienced). Having not seen the play, this movie was totally fresh to me, but it seemed authentically original, avoiding staginess and freeing the camera movements at every turn. Hairspray is also a message movie about loving who we are and accepting those who are different. Similarly, Hairspray is a campy musical that is proud of its musical numbers that goof the early 1960’s, staging them in the streets of Baltimore as opposed to most recent musicals that require a stage on which to perform. In fact, most of the films great numbers take place in high school hallways and the characters bedrooms. Hairspray is so much fun, even the Grinch would be tapping his feet by the end.

The films heart is Tracy Turnblad (newcomer Nikki Blonsky) the pudgy high schooler who radiates joy. Blonsky is quite a find, providing one of the most cheery and lovable characters I’ve ever seen on film. She’s like the love child of John Candy and Kathy Najimy. How could you not love this girl? She is so perky and happy she jumps out of bed in the morning and dances her way to school. And hey, she actually turns out to be a naturally amazing dancer, even at sunrise. I'd say she’s a morning person, but she’s always like that. She’s even sings from the trunk of a car.

Tracy’s waking hours revolve around the local American Bandstand type show called the Corny Collins Show hosted by the aptly named Corny (James Marsden). She races home everyday with her ever supportive pal Penny Pingleton (a hilarious Amanda Bynes) to dance along to Corny’s show, swoon over heartthrob Link Larkin (Zac Efron) and dream about shaking and shimmying in front of the camera.

When the show holds open auditions for a replacement spot, Tracy gets her chance to shine much to the dismay of the shows racist manager Velma Von Tussle (Michelle Pfeiffer) and Tracy’s mother Edna (John Travolta). Edna is a supportive mom, but she is afraid that Tracy will be hurt when Velma refuses to let a chubby girl on T.V. Of course, Edna is right because Velma is so vicious and unapologetically malicious she has no intentions of considering Tracy for the show. Thankfully, Tracy’s father Wilbur (Christopher Walken) is there to tell Tracy that she should chase after her dreams even though she might get hurt.

Velma doesn’t let Tracy in the show, but Tracy still mixes up the scene by spreading her belief of integration and winning the heart of Corny Collins, landing her on T.V. Tracy seems to win the heart of everyone and eventually becomes a leader in the Baltimore civil rights movement as she attempts to integrate the Corny Collins Show.

Kudos to director and choreographer Adam Shankman who has created some of the best dance performances I have seen in a while. These musical numbers are as well choreographed as the fight sequences in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. They should make choreography a Oscar category with situations like this. But the true heroes of this film are Tina Gerussi, Richard Hicks, and David Rubin. Ever hear of them? Yeah, me neither, but I thought this is the perfect opportunity to show the casting directors a little love. They have assembled the best possible cast I can imagine for this film. Blonsky is so terrific all I have to say is Jennifer Hudson look out. John Travolta is also wonderful as Edna the plump woman traditionally played by a man. At times he seems to be channeling Miss Piggy, but his dancing makes me wanna scream Grease Lightning. His motherly performance is so tender you eventually can’t help but believe he is a woman. This is seriously his best performance since Primary Colors. Christopher Walken is as bizarre and charming as ever. Queen Latifah lends her voice for a few show stoppers. Michelle Pfeiffer is wicked hilarious fun playing one of the most evil family film villains since Cruella De Vil. And don’t forget to lookout for supporting cast such as Zac Efron, Amanda Bynes, Brittany Snow and the amazing dance man Elijah Kelley.

If you can’t tell, I loved every second of Hairspray. It is so lovable, it dares you not to fall for it. From the colorful characters, the goofy 60’s jokes, and amazing show stoppers, you will be dancing in your seat. And the film is so alive with fresh performances and wonderful songs, you will leave the theatre invigorated like you just saw a real Broadway show. But don’t be to disappointed when there aren’t any vendors selling soundtracks on your way out. They’re cheaper at Best Buy anyway.

A

Green Sky at Night, Phoenix Takes Flight: The Potter series takes a turn towards the dark side with ‘Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter has certainly grown since the Potter craze began back in 2001. It seems like just yesterday the unknown actor Daniel Radcliffe was just a mousy 11-year-old with an underdeveloped talent for witchcraft. Now he spends his nights making his clothes disappear in front of a live audience. Yes, Radcliffe is growing up indeed and Harry Potter is developing just as fast. So long are the days when Harry’s biggest annoyances consisted of Potions class, evading Filch and Malfoy’s sneers. You-Know-Who was mostly lurking in the background, but now he’s back in human form and only Harry is capable of accepting this truth.

I’m a huge fan of the Potter series (books first and movies second), but Order of the Phoenix wasn’t exactly the best Potter book. Truth be told, it was my least favorite and it took me 3 tries to read it all the way through. Why was it so hard to get through? First, it is the longest of the books, but it is also the most tedious. The plot moved along at a glacial pace and nothing good happens (at least up through the first 400 pages). I know that surprises are fun and I shouldn’t complain when Rowling decided to mix things up by making the story so dark, but what happened to the mystery and the awe that the Potter series was known for dishing out. These are all minor complaints, because ultimately after I finally finished the book, I loved it as a chapter in the series. It is still my least favorite, but in the way that a parent might secretly have a least favorite child.

Enough about the book, this is a review of the movie after all and the movie was great. Most of this is due to the superb direction by British television director David Yates who isolates Harry and slowly builds a sullen tension off of his loneliness. Year five is a will-testing year of sorts for Harry. Everyone turns on him, the school is taken over by the Ministry of Magic, Hagrid’s missing, and oh yeah, Voldemort can enter Harry’s mind.

As every Potter book begins, Harry is spending his summer with his muggle relatives. Soul sucking Dementors attack Harry at a playground, which sets up Harry having to go through a Ministry of Magic trial for the crime of the underage use of magic. You see, this is really all just a ploy to kick Harry out of school thus silencing him from rousing concern that Lord Voldemort is back. Everyone seems perfectly happy believing Potter is crazy than accepting the terrifying truth. It’s scary when you finally realize that maybe things like Global Warming aren’t hoaxes after all. Ah, the sweet smell of denial.

Harry isn’t banished from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but a member of the Ministry is granted special powers to teach at the school and govern over the schools activities. This teacher is Professor Dolores Umbridge played deliciously by Imelda Staunton. She rules over the school like a 50’s loving fascist inebriated with power smiling sadistically all the way. As the main villain she assumes the open position as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and tortures her students with a very different teaching style. She believes children should be taught defensive theory as opposed to anything that a real witch or wizard should know, like spells and charms for example. We finally have some good news when Harry finds he does have some friends that still support him and they form a secret group of rebel fighters who will teach each other defensive magic if they won’t learn it at school.

The production values in this Potter adventure are really astounding. We have a few great action sequences towards the end as Harry & co face off against the Death Eaters. Any non Potter fans following this? The costuming, effects and settings are as believable and atmospheric as in the other films. But, the problem with adapting these longer books is that a lot must get chopped out. For example, Maggie Smith and Alan Rickman only have a couple of scenes to show off their acting gusto. And Hermione and Ron have been reduced to tiny minor characters. But this is still a fun Potter adventure and at least to me a little more enjoyable than reading the book for the first time. Sorry for being brief, but I must get back to reading the Deathly Hallows.

B+

Wed-Block: License to Wed is a wedding unworthy of crashing

License to Wed taught me so much about building the foundation of a happy marriage. For example, I never knew how important it is for men to impress their in-laws. Oh hey, did you know slapstick comedy is a sure way to attract a female? I for one had no idea how important napkins and cheese selections are in wedding preparation. And guys, for the love of God don’t be indecisive when it comes to cheese, napkins and teacups or you might find yourself sitting on the curb. I know what you’re thinking, even if you give her your opinion she'll prefer the other option, but at least then it seems as though you’re contributing. But when the credits finally rolled, I remembered that life is not like the movies and lessons like these can only exist in a sappy cookie-cutter romantic comedy of gargantuan disappointment that makes Meet the Parents look Oscar worthy.

Who’s to blame for this mess? I think it’s screenwriters Kim Barker, Tim Rasmussen and Vince Di Meglio, who combined have developed a tired, boring story that has fewer laughs than Geraldo Rivera attempting stand-up. The film seems sucked dry of comedy and leaves the audience like a barren desert of half smiles and blank stares, desperately thirsty for even a mirage of anything that resembles humor. As a huge fan of TV’s The Office, the funniest moments were reduced to random cameo appearances by cast members. Even comic genius Wanda Sykes resorted to slapstick and pun gags in her one scene. You would think some of the actors in this film could at least put their own comic spin on this lame dialogue, but even their most earnest efforts ultimately fail. It’s not that the acting is bad. Robin Williams, Mandy Moore and John Krasinski all do a decent job, but decent doesn’t cut it when the words that come from your voice undermine every attempt you make to elevate the film with your fine performance.

John Krasinski and Mandy Moore star as Ben and Sadie, a couple that is about to get married. We quickly learn that Sadie is a very high maintenance girl who doesn’t waste her time compromising things like wedding plans with Ben. There is no discussion about where the wedding will take place or even when, because by George, that’s Sadie’s decision and she wants to get married at her hometown church. Ben says ok. I’m not even sure if Ben’s family was invited. I guess that would be indecisive strike one for Ben if anyone’s counting, but since Sadie is selective in noticing when Ben’s flaws are actually flaws, I don’t think she included this one.

In order for Sadie and Ben to be married in Sadie’s church they must survive Reverend Frank’s (Robin Williams) grueling marriage preparation course. Once the course has started we realize we are in for two-hour sitcom that would have been canceled after its first episode. Not only is Reverend Frank completely humorless, but he is annoying and very creepy. His idea of relationship counseling consists of bugging Sadie and Ben’s apartment to make sure they don’t have sex and blindfolding Sadie while driving so Ben can navigate to safety. Of course, Ben yells that Reverend Frank is insane, but for some reason Ben still fights for the love of this girl, who from what I can tell, is insane herself and not worth the trouble. This leaves me to wonder about Ben’s mental health and ultimately I arrived at the conclusion that all of the films characters must have some form of mental deficiency.

Reverend Frank’s creepiness arrives from the fact that he has a 12-year-old male companion that is part of the “ministers of the future” program. Riiiiight, that’s a good one. This concept is completely ill conceived and adds a layer of ickiness to every scene in which Reverend Frank and his minor confidant spend all night in the back of a van “spying” or traveling by plane to tropical destinations. I know, this sounds ridiculous, but if you don’t believe me go see the movie. On second thought, don’t.

I guess there are a few mild laughs here and there. The robot babies were temporarily humorous. Krasinski's mannerisms made me chuckle more than anything else. I rooted for this movie and tried to enjoy it, but these writers made it so difficult. If you want to see a funny romantic comedy go see Knocked Up. If you want a formulaic one joke chick flick with a hint of pedophilia see License to Wed.

C

Take Your Medicine: Michael Moore has a 'doc' that can cure America

In college, I studied abroad in the Dominican Republic. There my tour guide informed us that the Dominican people are provided with a national healthcare system, which he proudly described as the best free healthcare in the Caribbean. I found this surprising, considering the poverty rates and lax environmental laws, but then I noticed the plethora of local amputees. Just because a country has national healthcare doesn’t mean it’s as competent as those without. But if any country could find a way to provide all of its citizens with free superior healthcare coverage it would be the United States of America. So, why doesn’t the wealthiest and most powerful nation on Earth have universal healthcare? That is the question Michael Moore poses to us with his latest sickening success, ‘Sicko’.

Sicko is humorous and heartbreaking, but ultimately as important, if not more so, than any other film by Michael Moore. Of course, Moore is up to his usual antics, playing the muckraking pseudo journalist as he confidently exposes the American hypocrisies that drive him crazy. With Bowling For Columbine and especially Fahrenheit 9/11, Moore alienated the conservative audience due to his scathing and unapologetic anger at republican ideals. But this time, he is more composed and completely sincere in persuading liberals and conservatives alike that universal healthcare is the logical direction a moral society should head. I still don’t think many Bush lovers will bring themselves to see a Michael Moore film, but they should see this one. A Sicko ticket would surely be better spent than wasting money on Evan Almighty, right?

It should be noted that Moore doesn’t appear until 40 minutes into this film. Perhaps he is attempting to be taken more seriously after Fahrenheit 9/11 didn’t succeed in electing John Kerry. But Moore is ever present, as he narrates the cases of several people that were severally mistreated by their medical insurance companies. Watching Sicko may remind you of your own close encounters with insurance sharks. In our society we must navigate fine print exceptions and cryptic language when dealing with company contracts. It’s hard to trust companies when they make what they offer so difficult to acquire. Maybe you’re not aware that the healthcare industry treats its clients like business opportunities, but in the long run, they’re corporations too. For example, we meet a woman who was in a car accident and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. The insurance company wouldn’t cover the ambulance ride because they said it wasn’t pre-approved. It’s a little difficult to check in with your insurance company when you’re unconscious. Another 22-year-old woman came down with cervical cancer and wasn’t covered for treatment because she is considered too young to have that form of cancer. I can’t believe they write such idiotic excuses to people who are clearly suffering from serious diseases. We even meet a couple who move into their daughters basement after the loss of their life savings due to paying off insurance bills for three heart attack related hospital visits and cancer treatments. But wait a second, these people aren’t deadbeats who are taking advantage of the system. In fact, the woman was a newspaper editor, her husband also had a good job and they both had benefits. Still, company medical coverage only last so long and eventually you will have to go into your own pocket. I know life’s not fair, but why should people who fall on especially hard times be punished more with endless medical bills? Moore says they shouldn’t, because a just society that puts its citizens first should come to their aid when help is needed. In my case, I guess Moore is preaching to the choir, but I would like to think that this film is so convincing it would change even the Scroogiest conservative minds.

Moore explores the perception that many people in America have of universal healthcare coverage found in similar first world nations. The general consensus being that it’s inadequate compared with our medical practices. I mean, this is America after all, where anything is possible. Strangely enough, many Canadians get along fine with their free health coverage. At the hospitals, people generally wait a half hour or forty minutes and leave without paying a cent. Moore’s relatives are so comfortable with the system, the only way they will visit him in the United States is by applying for medical insurance prior to their stay.

Moore also takes us to France, England and Cuba, to show us our other neighbors who all manage with universal healthcare. In England, one of our closest allies, we see how important universal healthcare is to its citizens. When Moore asks a few hospital patients when they pay for their medical services most of them laugh, one even jokes “what do you think this is, America?”. In France, the government goes above and beyond what many American’s would consider “proper” management. I mean, universal healthcare is one thing but could many American’s imagine mothers on maternity leave being provided with government-funded nannies that cook, clean, and even do laundry! The French national law even requires its working citizens to have five weeks vacation time. Those lazy French, no wonder we hate them so much. When will they learn that true freedom means working extra hard and shopping at Wal-Mart?

As it turns out there is one place in the U.S. that receives universal healthcare: Guantanamo Bay. In one of Moore’s typical humorous routines, he brings three boatloads of volunteer 9/11 rescue workers to the bay to see if they will treat the heroes ignored by our government. Of course, this was just staged for laughs, but seriously isn’t it somewhat ridiculous that enemy combatants are treated more humanly than American heroes?

Michael Moore is one of the great American satirical artists of our time. His films are insightful and hysterical, but more importantly they make a statement. Like most great artists, he is driven by a passion to shed light on important issues and it’s hard not to be taken in by his engaging films. Of course his wit and tone has a liberal bias, but would you expect an artist to censor their work or ignore their feelings? And yes it’s true that Moore is a provocateur who doesn’t provide all the answers. But at least he shows us that universal healthcare is possible in democratic societies. Moore’s films are rewarding experiences, filled with humorous gags and emotionally devastating moments. Sicko is one of his best and I just hope this film will have a greater impact than Fahrenheit 9/11 or at the very least win best documentary at the Academy Awards.

A

Battle Bots: Michael Bay Strikes Again with Transformers

Why must Michael Bay movies always be so Michael Bay-ish? He can never resist the urge to throw in staple moments recycled again and again in his films. Transformers is no exception with its string of Michael Bayisms. Let’s see: someone using flares in slow-motion (check), government officials who know very little about what their dealing with (check), a cheesy romantic scene right before something heroic is attempted (check), men that become aroused from abusing their authority (check), the rule that the only females on screen should be Maxim models (check), an in your face score that believes it will make you emotional when played with slow-motion characters (check), war room dialogue that always starts with the word ‘gentlemen’ (check), Jon Voight (check), and action, action and more action (double check). Michael Bay always attempts to undermine himself with cliché after cliché, but this time he didn’t succeed for three reasons; Shia LaBeouf, Steven Spielberg and Industrial Light and Magic.

The special effects in this film are excellent and quite a sight to behold. Watching the robots transform from everyday vehicles into titanic droids is seamless, unbelievably realistic looking and worth the price of admission on its own. But Shia LaBeouf’s electric and witty performance is the paramount reason to buy a ticket. He is single-handedly able to transform Bay’s cliché ridden feast into a fun popcorn movie in which we actually care about the characters (or at least his character).

We learn at the films opening, that the world of Transformers has become extinct as a result of constant war between two robot clans: the Autobots (the good guys) and the Decepticons (the bad guys). The most evil Decepticon named Megatron crash landed on earth in the 1930’s and was frozen in one of the polar ice caps. He was searching for a cube on earth, which is the source of extraterrestrial robot life. Who made the cube and how it works I’m not really sure, but none of that matters since it is mostly a plot device designed so we can have robots rumble in the Bronx.

Looking back, it’s hard to figure out where this whole story got started, but I think it was a scene in which a helicopter Decepticon wipes out an entire military base somewhere in the Middle East. Next we are introduced to LaBeouf’s character Sam Witwicky, an average teenager who hopes to impress a girl at school with his new car. The car he recently acquired is a Transformer named Bumble Bee, who sought out Witwicky to protect him. Apparently, Witwicky’s great grandfather was a famous explorer who discovered Megatron on his journey and left an item of his possession to Sam after his death. The item is a pair of glasses (another plot device) that is wanted by the Autobots and the Decepticons. All the scenes with Witwicky are fantastic. He is a funny kid that attempts to be a smooth operator with his parents and chicks, but can’t seem to keep his foot out of his mouth.

The first half of the movie is humorous and charming, as we get to know Witwicky’s family and his quest to impress Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox). Then Witwicky’s car drives away and he chases after it on his mom’s bike. He learns that his car is actually a robot here to help him and Bumble Bee introduces him to the other Autobots who need his help.

Transformers seemed like Speilberg quality, with the great special effects as well as unique developing characters. But slowly and surely Michael Bay’s true vision begins to unfold. Bay had to cut to the government developments as they try to solve hidden computer codes planted by the Decepticons. There is even an Australian supermodel hacker that solves the riddle of the code, but still has to meet with some other hacker that lives with his grandmother, which follows with them being captured by the FBI for downloading top secret material. They are taken to an interrogation room and we cut back to them whenever Michael Bay is desperate for a ‘meanwhile’ moment. We also have the survivors of the Army base attack as they continue to fight another Transformer in the dessert. And it pains me to say that the great John Turturro plays the films most annoying character as Agent Simmons who waltzes into Witwicky’s house like a wild west sheriff to find out what he knows about alien robots. They might as well have given him a six shooter and a star shaped badge. Most of this stuff is pointless filler that could have been trimmed or completely removed.

The movie is thrown together as if Bay didn’t have the confidence explore only LaBeouf’s character, so instead he constantly cuts to scenes from all over the world. At times, it’s like Michael Bay’s version of Babel. The battle scenes between the robots are also frustrating because it is impossible to tell what is going on. One robot alone is stunning, but the fight scenes consist of robots duking it out like two cage fighters. As soon as their metallic bodies merge, all I could see was a shiny blurry image of constantly scraping and shifting metal. And that is basically all we see for the last half hour of the film, which goes on way too long. And don’t get me started on the middle of the film, which totally rips off the Area 51 scenes from Independence Day.

Yes, Transformers is a flawed and goofy film, but it is also a lot of fun. The writing toward the beginning is very funny. Most of the action sequences are exciting, though they’re no where near as thrilling as Speilberg’s War of the Worlds (which is a masterpiece next to this film). But despite Transformers blemishes (thanks Mr. Bay) LaBeouf has worked his magic again. He is a natural actor who continues to impress me film after film. So see Transformers for the f/x, but mostly for LaBeouf’s performance, then rent Disturbia when it comes out on DVD and wait avidly for LaBeouf’s turn as Indiana Jones’ son.

B